Tucson Hypnotherapy and Life Coaching Helps You Fulfill Your Dreams and Find Your True Purpose by Overcoming Negative Thoughts and Destructive, Limiting Behaviors
Jul 5, 2020
11 min read
Are you fulfilling your dreams? Do you know that failure is the key to success?
Updated: Jan 18
I am so glad to be with you today as we explore this episode of the Guardian Files.
As we discussed in the last episode, your Guardian Files represent everything you have heard, seen and felt throughout your life, especially your early years.
On these episodes we will focus upon how your own particular Guardian Files have influenced and controlled every aspect of your life, for our goal is to explore how to set you free to live the life you deserve and desire.
Do you ever feel like a failure?Wonder what happened to your life goals?Did someone keep you from being successful, or did your just not get it together and make it happen?
And if what we discuss sparks your interest and you want to learn more, please watch the videos, “Your Innermost Secrets”, which you can use for free. More information and videos can be found by going to my website at yourlifeinthenow.com. You can also explore these topics on videos by going to my YouTube channel, also called Your Life in the Now.
So let’s dive in…
Today we will explore how despite all the challenges of a difficult upbringing you will draw experiences that trigger negative reactions within you. These experiences aren’t issues to be avoided or ignored, they actually represent opportunities to see issues for what they are - simply old beliefs and negative behaviors which can be addressed and resolved. This allows you to create new beliefs and behaviors that lead to succe
Lets go into this one step at a time.
First, what do we mean when we say that we have succeeded or failed at something?
I started thinking about this the other day while I was listening to one of the many positive, supportive podcasts featuring self-help experts in the field of healthy relationships, successfully overcoming old habits, achieving physical and emotional health, motivational speakers and so many more.
All of them are considered accomplished in their field. Successful. And their words and methods are eagerly sought out by others.
The wisdom they offered is very familiar. Work smart, work hard, stay focused, stay committed, stay positive, and just don’t stop.
Follow their directions, their programs, their plans and you too, will have healthy relationships, lose that weight, achieve financial security, create business success and much more.
If only it were that easy.
You leave the course, the presentation, the seminar feeling inspired, motivated, and ready to get it done.
Yet you return to your daily life and find that it just doesn’t work or you have no time to practice what you learned. Over time you may feel frustrated. Maybe you blame the course. Most likely you blame life itself as being so busy you don’t have time to make it happen. Or perhaps you realize that something distracts you when you try and focus upon what you learned.
Is this failure?
In reality statistics show that actually about 5-10% of anyone following a particular plan will ever complete these programs and achieve a level of success that they believed they would achieve.
I think it’s important to realize that for every success story you read in print, hear on the radio, and see on the internet or television, there are hundreds of people who just didn’t achieve success or reach their goals.
The fact is that we always hear from the few that made it. Of course the successful people are the ones who talk about success, about what they did to achieve their goals and assured you that you can do the same.
Of course they say that. It’s their reality. It’s their life experience. They made it happen and if you follow their advice they believe that you will also be successful.
Well, at least for 5-10% of you anyway.Rarely do you hear from those that failed.
Now, don’t go ballistic on me because of course they aren’t failures! The fact is that if you couldn’t get it done you probably on some level believed that you had failed. You will either move onto the next program or quit altogether.
You might have heard the common phrase, “History is written by the victors”. Well, in a similar way, “Success is written by the successful.” It makes sense, of course. Who but the successful are best suited and most likely to be sought out to learn about what it takes to become successful?
There’s no shortage of wonderful programs out there. Look at the thousands and thousands of videos, podcasts, blogs, books, articles and shows about what to do and how you can change your life by following certain methods and words of wisdom.
So what’s stopping you?Why does success still elude you?
If the experts in a particular area or endeavor can’t always assure you of success, then what can you do?
The problem isn’t with your lack of dreams, it isn’t a lack of intelligence, or motivation, or knowledge, or even will power.
No, I suggest that what robs you of the life that you want to live is your subconscious negative programming.My technical term for it is your inner crap.
All that inner crap is put into your open, suggestible mind over the first 16 years of your life. This was downloaded into your mind from either wounded, mean, unfeeling, imperfect, unintentional people during difficult circumstances and unfortunate experiences. Yes, from everyone you encountered growing up.
The sum total of these experiences created your core beliefs and prime directives of your Guardian, the voice of your subconscious programming.
As we explored in past episodes, your Guardian is the protector and facilitator of your inner core beliefs. It combines everything you have experienced and creates inner beliefs and behaviors that fit with what it thinks you deserve.
You might have heard the arguments as to whether your inherent genetic nature or your learned, environmental level of nurture is responsible for your inner conditioning and personality.
I believe both are responsible, and in my 25 years of experience have seen many examples in how both play significant and unique roles in how you react and respond to challenges.
The fact is that in certain areas you are programmed for success and in others you are filled with self-doubt and a lack of self-confidence. To give up, to quit, to not believe in yourself. And despite being successful in some parts of your life, in other areas you might still feel like a failure.
Even the most successful people have both healthy and unhealthy subconscious programming, and while they find success in one area they still have self doubts and concerns in others.
In certain areas your programming might support a healthy, loving relationship yet be plagued with money issues. Perhaps you were programmed for money and financial success yet burdened with terrible relationship issues. Or you have both a pessimistic inner nature and were raised in a difficult environment so that you face very difficult challenges.
The one absolute fact that emerged is that when you make an earnest effort to change your subconscious programming by using an approach that focuses on processing at this deep level of awareness, you finally are able to overcome a lifetime of setbacks and create a healthier self.
When you first take the time to address and resolve your inner issues, you discover how successful you are now using those wonderful programs offered by others. You create healthier relationships, make more money, feel better about yourself, and move forward with your goals. Finally you release the grip of a lifetime of negative beliefs that strangled your dreams.
I know that you have within you the seeds of your future destiny, of your authentic self, of your success.And this healthy, real you will be best expressed in a particular way that is unique for you.
It’s also important to realize that the mistakes and difficult experiences of your life were probably not your fault. That’s right, not your fault.
This isn’t avoiding responsibility. For the fact is that most of your life you have been under the influence of your subconscious mind. Yes, your powerful Guardian made most of the important decisions of your life. These decisions were based upon inner fears and your core beliefs, both negative and positive.
So why blame yourself for what your inner programming had you believe and made you do?Why waste a moment worrying about a past that you neither wanted nor created?
You probably didn’t even know the Guardian existed, accepting that your thoughts, feelings and actions were who you were and what you wanted. When you take the time to examine these moments of your life, in many you will discover that the healthy you simply was not in charge.
When you take the necessary steps in the beginning to remove the negative influences and self-sabotage from your life, you finally, finally achieve success.
From a healthier place what you hear, study and learn is accepted by your healthier subconscious mind that agrees with your conscious desire for success and abundance. Your subconscious mind is now your ally instead of your adversary. You have created a healthy Guardian.
Which brings us back to the deeper question of what is healthy success and what is failure?
Success doesn’t necessarily mean you will become a well-known public figure. You don’t have to be famous to fulfill your dreams.
Perhaps your dream is to live in a small town with great friends in a beautiful natural setting helping others. Many people with a natural inclination for a quiet, peaceful life will appreciate and understand this level of success. Or maybe you strive to share with a larger audience what you have learned and want to connect personally with them in a more public life.
The important point is that you do what the healthy, authentic you desires.
For success isn’t based upon stardom – but often success is based upon failure.
Being a failure is a bad word these days, for most people see it as a limited way of looking at individuals and their efforts. I totally agree. I only use it because this is what many people honestly experience. It’s their self-talk.
Here’s the deeper truth. What once seemed like failure is actually an experience that you draw to yourself (yes, I said “you draw to yourself”, not the universe, not god, not anything or anyone else)… you attract it.
You have within you the capability and the natural inclination to attract exactly what you need. To release old wounds, resolve old issues, old beliefs and behaviors and create the life you were meant to live.
It is amazing that the universe is set up in such a way that despite all your early negative programming, self-doubts and fears, you always have within you everything you need for success and fulfillment.
Success is already within you and it usually relies upon failure to jumpstart the process. You just have to wake up, recognize and allow it to happen. In order to resolve old issues and create the right attitude you first have to see challenges and failure for what they are - as learning experiences to help you focus upon what you need to address and to create a deeper wisdom that comes from these lessons. If you curse, ignore, destroy, deny, or recycle so-called negative experience into future moments you never resolve anything and success eludes you.
So, what’s the bottom line?What have we learned?
You have within you the ability to fulfill your dreams, to achieve success and to change the world when you stop resisting your own inner nature. As a result of your difficult upbringing and inner programming, you naturally will draw experiences that both resonate with then trigger negative reactions within you. These reactions actually represent opportunities to see your issues for what they are - simply old beliefs and negative behaviors created in the past that can now be addressed and resolved. This allows you to naturally create new beliefs and behaviors that lead to success.
I know, quite a statement, but it summarizes everything we are discussing.
Okay, so how do you move forward with this? What can you do now?
The first step is discovering that there is a problem with your inner programming. With your subconscious beliefs and behaviors. They are sometimes wounded, irrational and incorrect.
The next step is learning about how this programming created issues throughout your lifetime and learn how they hold you back and keep you stuck.
Your daily life naturally draws to you the lessons you need to intelligently and naturally address so that now you can focus upon and release old beliefs on the subconscious level where they reside.
These lessons in the form of negative experiences trigger and bring forth old issues and emotional wounds. Using techniques that include both re-experiencing and resolving these negative beliefs transform your inner self, helping you to discover the life you truly want to live.
I urge you to avoid chasing after the promises of success until you at least spend a little effort healing old, negative inner wounds. Otherwise they could block, distract, or sabotage your efforts for success and you will feel like some part of your life is an unfulfilled failure.
There are many amazing and useful programs of study out there. The problem is that without inner health you may never be able to overcome your inner resistance to complete or adopt their positive teachings. Again, a few will be successful, but most will not.
If you can’t overcome the negative, resistant inner programming you will fall back to old habits, get beaten down, slip into a mediocre life, or worse yet get drug into self-destructive behaviors and never fulfill your dreams.
Please consider how important it is for the sake of your life, your loved ones, and your planet, to heal your inner demons.Resolve negative thinking that keeps you stuck and bound to old negative beliefs and behaviors.
Pay attention to when you hear, see or feel the movement of your negative Guardian in your thoughts or actions. You will become aware that your Guardian is mostly present in the form of negative, psychological thoughts. These negative, critical thoughts come into your mind to create anxiety, worry, doubt, fear, anger, frustration, self loathing, shame, and other resistive patterns.
You will discover that your Guardian is alive and active in these moments, that your thoughts stimulate the Guardian.
As J. Krishnamurti often said, “The thinker is the thoughts. The thoughts create the thinker.” That without these thoughts, there is no Guardian.
When your thoughts end, even temporarily, the Guardian in that moment is no longer present.
Perhaps you have had moments like this while watching a spectacular sunset when the sky is on fire with color. Or observing the deep abiding beauty of an alpine lake framed by a massive, snow covered peak. In these moments, you are present as the conscious, healthy adult self, without thoughts, able to experience life in the moment, in the now.
For as another wise man, Eckhart Tolle, offered, “The next phase in human evolution is transcending thought.”
That’s a great goal and you can start now with self-reflection and realize that self-healing means self-awareness which naturally moves you away from psychological thoughts. You begin to realize that the power your Guardian has over you is the most important challenge of your life, for the actions of your negative subconscious mind cause most of the problems of this world and certainly most of your personal challenges.
Please remember to avoid beating yourself up for what your negative Guardian learned, expressed and then created. It is doing the best it can in its own wounded, sometimes irrational way. It’s time to retire your old Guardian so that it no longer interferes with your conscious, daily life. A healthy Guardian is possible and is meant to be your advisor, not your dictator.
It’s your responsibility to resolve it, keeping in mind the miracle that you naturally draw to you everything you need to address so that you can resolve your issues and create a better life. You just need a little positive support in order to overcome the resistance of your Guardian and to release your healthier, authentic self.
Wake up to the fact that until now a negative, resistive part within you has been in charge of your life by controlling what you think, do, say and feel.
It’s time to take back control and trust in yourself to make better choices, to enjoy better relationships, to create abundance in many forms and to fulfill your dreams.
To turn guilt into forgiveness, failure into fulfillment. This is what it means to bring forth your true self, your authentic self. What it means to live your life in the now.