7 Huge Mistakes You Make That Sabotage Both Your

Self-Confidence and Healthy Relationships and Create...

  • Feelings of inadequacy and lack of confidence

  • Differing forms of self sabotage that threaten your relationships

  • Disruptive sleep and low energy

  • Personal and professional frustrations and fears

  • Destructive personal and societal outcomes

What are these seven?

 

  1.  Mistakenly blame yourself 

  2.  Mistakenly blame your partner 

  3.  Mistakenly think you can control your subconscious mind

  4.  Mistakenly focus on the wrong things throughout the day 

  5.  Mistakenly create unintended affirmations

  6.  Mistakenly try to "do" your way to happy relationships

  7.  Mistakenly quit and leave your relationship too early

It's important to realize that even though you may be making many of these mistakes, what is important is that now you 

focus upon resolving and releasing each of these

mistakes and turn them into successes!

Here are the first 3 mistakes, how they affect you and your relationships, and the importance of resolving them

1.  Mistakenly blame yourself 

It's perfectly natural for you to blame yourself for doing something or for not taking action.  It certainly felt like the decisions you once made came from your actions.  After all, wasn't it you that chose a certain way of thinking?  Wasn't it you that made that mistake in your relationship?  That job? Your friends or family?

​   No, you didn't!

Whatever it seemed like you did, please consider that every major decision you have made, every course of action that you took, anything that you chose to do that turned out to be unhealthy, short sighted or selfish came from the limiting beliefs and behaviors of your subconscious mind.  

Your conscious mind is like an ant compared to the power of your subconscious ego.  It decides most of what you think, feel, say and do.  It programs you to react a certain way in situations, sometimes using the fight, flight or freeze responses to keep you safe.  It decides which relationships fit best for you based upon all the programming that created your beliefs during the first 16 years of your life. During this time, you were a sponge absorbing everything with little or no ability to say "no" to what other people said about you or your actions.  As a child you also made many mistakes about what you believed to be true about yourself and life.  All this had a profound effect upon your relationships.

Stop blaming yourself for the decisions made 

 by your subconscious ego 

Remember, it's not about blame, for that's a waste of time.  It's also useless to blame your subconscious mind as well.  It did what it thought was best based upon it's own programming, but often these choices prove disastrous for our relationships.  More about this later, but for now realize that blame is just a waste of energy.  

Focus instead on how you want to be so that you can enjoy healthier relationships

Cosmic Sky

2. Mistakenly Blame Others

Just as its a waste of time and energy to blame yourself or your subconscious programming, it's equally misguided to blame others.  Many want to blame their parents, siblings, loved ones, society or even God for inner wounds and  behaviors.  

Reject becoming a victim

When you blame others you get caught in the trap of becoming a victim.   This happens far too often in relationships. 

The very act of expressing your hurt or anger, if done appropriately, can be a good step in releasing old wounds.  It's how you then respond to your feelings about the experience that really matters.

After expressing your feelings, if you blame another you become dis-empowered and stuck in the very feelings you need to release.  Your belief will create a victim-like consciousness that causes you to avoid taking healthy action to resolve your issues.  Unfortunately, it's easier and less challenging to just blame your partner instead of learning what the issue has to teach you.

Remember that in relationships you draw the person that fits your desires as well as your wounds.  We draw both Soul Mates and Wound Mates.  More about this later.

Look deeply at how your partner was programmed  by their parents, who were influenced by their parents, and so forth and you discover that all of us were programmed by our past and perpetuate those beliefs into our romanti relationships.  


Now move on

It's time to break this endless stream of negative behavior by stepping out of the blame game and taking responsible.  It wasn't your fault about how you were programmed but it is your responsibility to take action, see relationships as the amazing learning experiences that they are, resolve the past, learn from it and move on.  

3.  Mistakenly think you can control your subconscious mind

Once you realize that your subconscious mind controls most of what you think, feel, say and do, you might make the mistake of thinking that you can change it through an effort of will.


Nothing could be further from the truth

Your subconscious is immensely powerful and intelligent.  It beats your heart, pumps you blood, fights infection, digests your food, creates 2 million cells every second (240 million each day) and so much more.  

It has you react in a split second to danger even before you are consciously aware of it.  That's your reflexes in action.  Move your arm right now.  Do you know how to fire the nerves that secrete the chemical that cause the muscle fibers to contract or stretch to move the muscle that results in this simple action?


Of course not

But your subconscious does.  Some call this your unconscious mind, but whatever you call it, it is below your conscious awareness and operates at a level of intelligence beyond your conscious abilities.  You can tell your subconscious mind to move something and it does, but you don't know how it does this.  

It's as if you are the front person steering the car that your subconscious mind gives you.  You give it the gas and turn the wheel, but it does the work.  Also like the computer in a smart car, it will steer you away from other cars or stop automatically when it sees an obstacle in your way.  It doesn't wait for you to take action. In reality, you don't have much control at all, especially when it comes to deep-seated beliefs and behaviors.


So imagine trying to control this part of you by telling it what you want it to do  

I can hear your objections!  You might be protesting that often you do accomplish what you want and that you do make things happen your way.  

This is true, but only because your subconscious mind also contains many positive beliefs and behaviors as well as the negative.  When it agrees with what you want, you can do anything.  This does explain how we seem to cruise through life doing our daily tasks.  You do so because your subconscious mind allows you to do so.  

When your subconscious mind is healthy in the nature of your relationships, they will be wonderful.  If not, they will constantly remind you of what you need to do to heal.


Often the resistance from your subconscious ego comes in response to emotional challenges. 

 

When you want something that goes against your negative programming, it will resist, distract and even sabotage you.  This is the essence of procrastination, where your subconscious has beliefs that run contrary to your desires and blocks you in some way.  Again, you see this in relationships all the time.

The bottom line is that you get things done or make things happen because your subconscious mind is in agreement with you, but long as there are also negative beliefs and behaviors in its programming, you will find challenges ahead.


The smart approach is to not try to control it, but to make it healthier

This is why we use hypnosis to alter and release your subconscious mind of its negative conditioning.  As it begins to transform you will find it moves into agreement with most of what you consciously want to achieve, as long as its the healthiest alternative.  From this place it does feel like you regain control, but only because the healthy subconscious is now your ally instead of your dictator.  Think of your mind now moving in harmony with you and operating at a vibrational level that naturally allows you to experience a healthy, fulfilling relationships.

Sandstone

Congratulations on learning the first 3 of 7 mistakes you once made!





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The first step in understanding your relationships is understanding your subconscious mind.   .