top of page
Candy Cotton

4. Mistakenly focus on the wrong things throughout the day

It is vitally important to start your day off in a positive state of mind.  This aligns with your healthy beliefs, focusing upon what you want, connecting with your positive subconscious beliefs and behaviors.  No matter how negative you think you are, you can begin to change this by starting your day off by focusing on the positive.  When you anchor into your consciousness this healthier state of mind early in your day, it is easier to keep this momentum going versus trying to achieve it after being dominated or fighting the inner conflict that results from a negative mindset.

There are many positive ways to start your day

A great way to start the day is listening to positive hypnosis audios.  Or by meditating.  Or by sitting quietly in nature.  Or by doing yoga or exercising like going for a walk or run.  Or by listening to inspiring music.  Or reading motivating sayings.  Or, well, you get the idea.  Choose something that allows you to reconnect with the inspired you, the healthy you, and you will discover the many positive aspects of becoming the authentic you at the start of your day.

You will find that this puts you into a higher vibrational level and what will resonate with you are more upbeat people, events and experiences.  From this state of mind when confronted by a negative challenge you will have more energy and insight to resolve it sooner and healthier.

This is the law of attraction in action

When you realize that you are going through the day in a negative state of mind, you are face to face with the negative aspects of your subconscious programming.  The healthy you would never think that way.  Instead of doubt, worry, concern, fear, guilt, blame, anger and despair your mind would be filled with joy, peace, love, trust, confidence, balance and fulfillment.  In this negative state of mind you also forget to focus on how well things are going and all the positive things you have already accomplished.

In this state of mind everything works out better

Your goal is to experience how amazing your life becomes as your subconscious mind becomes healthier.  Remember, we can't push away, destroy, ignore, or wish away the negative subconscious mind...but it can be transformed.  Your efforts to focus upon the positives allows your mind to change the way you perceive life and your abilities.  Everything in your life begins to look and feel different.  You have new insights, new experiences, new creative ideas.  Your attitude improves, your relationships get better, your issues begin to dissolve and fade away as you heal old behaviors, beliefs and wounds.

Be aware of old habit patterns

More and more everyday now you will become vigilant as to when old, negative thoughts try to creep back into your mind and have you believe that, "you can't do it, life is too hard, it will never work out, you don't deserve it," and other destructive thoughts and feelings.  This is how you take control of your mind, your feelings, your life.  Fill your mind with positive thoughts and feelings and focus upon the true reality of who you really are.  Become the amazing you that you truly are.  Take these first steps that allow your journey toward fulfillment to begin.

4 More Things You Need to Address 


5. Mistakenly create unintended affirmations​

I can hear you now saying, "How can I make a mistake of saying my positive affirmations incorrectly?"  Well, chances are you might be making two common mistakes that many make while saying affirmations which negate their intent.   The first mistake is when you include one simple word into your affirmations.  

That word is, "Not"

Yes, affirmations can be very powerful unless you negate them by including this one word, "not".  Your subconscious follows the directions it gets by the image it creates.  When you use the word, "not", even as a contraction such as, "don't", you usually then continue to say what it is you don't want.  Your subconscious ignores the word "not" or "don't" and goes to the image or statement you give it.  Which is opposite of what you actually want.

So when you say, "I don't want to be worried," or, "I don't want to fail," or, "I don't want to eat X, Y, or Z", your subconscious hears "Be worried, fail and eat X, Y or Z".  

Don't believe me?   Right now, do not think of a dancing, pink zebra.

What did you think of?  I bet it was  a dancing pink zebra.  In fact, you have to think of a dancing pink zebra in order to not think of it and, well, you get the picture.  Really get it.  For you mind goes to the image and doesn't dwell on the word, "not" or "don't".  You can substitute in any action and any animal and share this with others, for it will help them to see that saying what they don't want only draws to them what they don't want.

How do you make this mistake?

Nearly everyone starts by making this mistake, so if you do as well you are not alone!  What words should you use?  Just make the simple shift over to always stating what you do want.  "I am learning how to be calm," or, "I am successful," or, "I am eating healthier now," or, whatever you wish to achieve.  

A simple shift that has profound implications

The other mistake that you probably make when saying affirmations is expecting them to come true.  Again, I can hear you arguing, "Of course I want them to come true, that's why I am saying them".  There is nothing wrong with the affirmation, but again unless you understand your own subconscious mind, you might as well be talking to nothing more that the air around you.

Your subconscious responds to what it believes

Regardless of how heartfelt or impressive your affirmations might be, if your subconscious doesn't believe them then what you say won't matter.  Your affirmations don't mean squat, so to speak, to your egoic mind.  Unless it agrees with you.
Remember that your subconscious is here to protect you and has been programmed by your upbringing.  If your experiences are strongly contrary to what you want to achieve, it will block, distract, or sabotage your efforts to change.  Even though you say it, it just won't happen...unless your subconscious is healthier.

The proper response is to first create a healthier subconscious mind 
Replace the old, limiting beliefs from your negatively programmed subconscious mind.  Focus on the positive and from the resulting healthier subconscious you are create a mind where your positive affirmations work great.  The good news is that positive affirmations help create a healthier you once your subconscious begins to fill with positive beliefs and behaviors.  When you anchor into your subconscious mind healthier thoughts and feelings using techniques like hypnosis, these new behaviors will now become a part of your subconscious mind's healthier belief system. 

Whichever belief is stronger in your subconscious mind is the one it follows 
You now create what is called, "Cognitive Dissonance", or thinking conflict.  This occurs when your subconscious is filled with alternate and often contradictory beliefs.   The idea is to feed healthier beliefs into your subconscious with positive words and images so that it becomes a stronger and more prominent part of your mind.  The new, positive beliefs don't have to be the strongest in order to experience their effect, for you will think, feel, say and do more and more positive behaviors and see a change that begins right away.

It just needs to be nurtured and supported to grow stronger  

Like a seedling planted in fertile soil, your healthy beliefs take time to grow and become stronger.  With time, the new beliefs will outweigh the old and your new "crop" of positive behaviors will flourish and become the dominant new force in your now healthier subconscious mind. 
Congratulations!  You have planted and soon with experience a healthier ego!  All affirmations given in this phase will now have a significant impact upon your life, helping you to attract and know that you deserve vibrant, amazing relationships.  Just like you originally intended.  

When you use this knowledge of first creating a healthier subconscious mind that accepts instead of rejects your affirmations, you intelligently guide your life in a positive, productive way.

Control your stress.jpg

6.  Mistakenly let your subconscious mind try and  "do" your way to happiness

Your natural inclination when faced with a challenge is to do something.​  To react.  This triggers you immediate fight or flight mechanism.  This pumps blood into your extremities, stops digestion, floods you system with chemicals like adrenalin and cortisol, and acts independently of any conscious direction at all.

Less immediate challenges give us a few moments to consider what to do but still your subconscious is making most of the choices.  Do you get angry?  Do you feel shamed?  Do you feel scared?  Do you feel sad?  Even though you have an immediate reaction with a rush of feelings how you react is based upon your subconscious mind's beliefs about you and your abilities.  

If you get angry, the current situation has triggered past events of a similar nature.  Maybe you feel wronged, or wounded, or some injustice has occurred.  This would casue you to react with anger or feat.  Your present day reactions have their roots in your past.  This is why two people will have an entirely different reaction to the same challenge.  One person might cry, another withdraw, another get angry, and so forth.

How you respond is controlled by the conditioning of your subconscious mind.

Two people leave an appointment at the same time.  Both stop at the stoplight.  One rolls down the window, breathes in the fresh air, hears the birds singing, feels the warmth of the sun on their face.  They experience a brief, uplifting feeling of peace and wellness.  The other fumes over how this light is keeping them from their next appointment.  How nothing seems to be going right this day.  

Same place, same time, two entirely different realities.

Your subconscious ego uses analytical thoughts to try and figure everything out and then uses the effort of will to achieve something.  This is how it sees the world, how it uses the "doing" mode for all situations.    All reaction is from the past, for your wounded subconscious draws upon the past to make all its decisions.  That's how it sees the world, through past conditioned beliefs.  It uses thought as a tool to consider how to proceed.

The healthy subconscious mind also uses thought as a tool but tempers it with emotions and self reflection and then responds, rather than reacts.  This is the definition of wisdom, the balance of thought and feelings, of doing and being, or yin and yang, of masculine and feminine energies.

Do your best to experience for yourself how powerful it feels to take control by simply "being" and not immediate "doing".  Sit in nature and just watch.  Listen.  Smell.  Sense the air around you.  It will guide you into its mysteries if you just allow yourself to be.  This is the awakening of intelligence.

When you are in the doing mode you are in your egoic state and using effort to change something.  This is normal and natural, where action is necessary, but discover how that action is different when it arises from the healthy state of mind instead of coming from the conditioned mind.  The healthier you become, the more natural the stillness of doing can be enfolded into your daily life.  This is what it means to be living with practical spirituality.  Being in a state of pure awareness, intelligence and connected with the ground of all being yet able to use your healthier ego to live your daily life.

See for yourself, test this, explore it without effort and it will reveal its secrets.

Couple for stress relief compressed.jpg

7. Mistakenly quit and give up

Finally, the worst decision you could make would be to give up, quit and let your negative subconscious ego take complete control your life.   This is a sure way to prevent you from ever taking charge of your life or fulfilling your dreams, and you had better believe that this is the goal of your subconscious programming.  

The last thing your subconscious wants is for you to try to control all aspects of your life 

The reason is that your ego is programmed to be in charge and has been given no evidence of your ability to do a better job.  It sees you being too easily distracted, too absorbed by various methods of escape that your ego provides like watching TV, drinking, overeating, smoking, drugs and the many other forms of entertainment.  It knows that you are easily distracted by the next, "bright and shiny object."

To your ego, you act like a child
I have had many dialogues with my clients' subconscious egos while they are in hypnosis, and in nearly every case when asked why it doesn't allow the conscious personality to take back control it would answer in a disdainful way with words like, "They aren't capable of handling all that I do," or, "They are just a child," or, "They would just screw it all up," or, "They are too easily distracted to be trusted with this serious job," and so forth.  It always amazed me of what little regard your subconscious ego has for you, the conscious persona. 

Your subconscious sees you as ineffective, weak and not very special at all

Which is pretty astonishing since it's job is to protect and guide you.  Upon further, deeper discussions your subconscious will admit that it is tired of being your babysitter, but it believes that it was given a job that needs to be done.  It doesn't spend time with self reflection as to why it needs to do this, for it is incredibly limited in its capacity for self discovery.  It is like a machine, a single minded program of protection, that has the emotional capacity of a 12 year old with the ability of a supercomputer. 
As that definition of insanity goes, a 12 year old will continue to make the same mistakes over and over expecting a new outcome.  You have already discovered that your subconscious mind uses habits to cover up feelings or challenges with a variety of escapes such as food, alcohol, entertainment, drugs, codependent romance or so many others,.  Yet none of these ever resolve your issues.  They just bring temporary relief.  Far too often this is how your subconscious deals with feelings, as something to bury or push aside, yet that never works.  Yet it continues to act irrationally and not in a healthy way.  It allows some destructive programming to guide its actions.

Which makes your subconscious incredibly dangerous, and that is why the world is so screwed up

That's a topic for another time, but I mention it here so that you see how vitally important it is for you to heal your subconscious programming, to not give up, otherwise you will be dooming the human race to more and more terror, murder, ignorance and danger as our technology only gets more advanced.  To leave this negatively programmed, sometimes irrational, incredibly powerful part of human consciousness in charge is a recipe for continual disaster. 
That is why nearly every social and anthropological scientist state that we have hardly progressed evolutionarily at all from the barbarians that we once were and unfortunately still remain.  You have probably heard that the only difference between a civilized society and barbaric chaos is a few weeks after a true disaster.

You can make a significant contribution to the future of humanity, to the health of every living being on the planet, if you address the limitations of your own subconscious mind and help it become healthier.

Please don't quit or give in to the temptations your ego offers you, for continuing this way is far worse than the apple that the devil offered Eve.  Metaphorically that was the beginning of our ego's ability for individual thought and self reflection, for to continue this way fulfills every destructive outcome from the worst scenario that science fiction writers have offered of the violent future.

I don't mean to sound negative, for I am one of the most positive, optimistic individuals you will ever meet.  But I am also a realist and will do whatever I can to continue to allow individuals to experience the joy, freedom and self fulfillment that comes from inner peace to become the next phase of human evolution.  

I just want us to have the opportunity to create and experience this state of mind, for once you do  your life will forever change in better, magical and more fulfilling ways.

So please, do your best to heal your subconscious issues and release your ego from it self imposed prison of negativity. 

It can, and will, transform as it becomes healthier, but only when you release your past mistakes and take charge of your life.

bottom of page