Facing Your Fears
I want to continue to help you move forward and overcome any of the old resistance, anything that's keeping you back from living a life of joy and fulfillment.
Today we are talking about another aspect of the Guardian files which is that part of our subconscious that often times keeps us from doing what we really want to do. I want to talk today about what it means to push the envelope. To step out of your comfort zone. Here in this beautiful setting in the tropics there are many things you can do for fun.
The other day we were at an adventure park called Xplore where they have ziplines, floats through caves, quads and more. It was a lot of fun, but she had never been on a zip-line before. Since she is slightly afraid of heights the combination of that fear and the fear of sliding five stories above the tropical jungle out of control was pretty daunting for her. But she did it anyway, finally pushing her fears aside and letting go to learn what it’s like to be on a zip line. It took her several towers in this 9-tower park to relax a bit and eventually even enjoyed experience.
Almost all of us at some time in our life have to address some fear, that uneasiness within us that tries to keep us from doing those things that seem dangerous to a part of us. Being out of our comfort zone pushes our subconscious inner protector. Now, if you’ve listened or seen my videos you've heard of the Guardian, that part of your subconscious mind, your ego, that is programmed to protect you.
Now perhaps your Guardian will react in ways that might go against what another part of you wants to do. Maybe it doesn’t want you to be going to great heights, it doesn't want to be in an airplane, it doesn't want you to be driving in traffic beside large trucks - anywhere where it feels out of control, worried and concerned about your safety and security. You can imagine that flying at 30,000 feet causes this part of your ego to feel totally out of control. The same with heights. This part of you feels like something bad could happen, that you could lose control and fall and get hurt. So, when you add climbing up a five-story tower to go on a zipline you can imagine how a Guardian could be triggered this way.
As we talked about it in other blogs it is essential that you live a life of joy and happiness. A life where you are in charge, where you can trust in yourself and your ability to know when something is dangerous and avoid doing it. Often times as teenagers we don't make good decisions as we tend at this age to have low impulse control. This can lead us to do fun and sometimes crazy things.
You can imagine that your Guardian, like your parents, gets nervous then really worried about that teenage part of you coming out doing something crazy and getting hurt. Often when we go through the teenage years it is a struggle between a part of us, our teenage self, to feel free and do whatever you want to do. This part comes into direct conflict with your Guardian ego that strives to keep you safe. Many discover that when you move into your twenties that inner struggle begins to intensify as you get a job, get married, have children, and you experience how your guardian really tries to gain control over us to settle down, act more responsible, become more conservative, be more safe and secure.
The teenage part of us gets subdued and put aside as our old programming from those first 16 years descends upon us with old worries, fears and behaviors, the result of the Guardian’s increasing influence upon our life. All the negative programming of those first 16 years when we were open and suggestible creates habit patterns as old, irrational beliefs and behaviors enter into our daily life more and more.
Depending upon your own upbringing you might find that the teenage part of you, that joyous, happy fun-loving part of you, is not able to be fully expressed. If you were fortunate enough to have both a happier childhood and teenage years, you probably are still able to express your inner teen and have fun. Often men that come in to see me are simply teenagers who got older but never really grew up. These happy individuals have a lot of toys and tend to fill their lives with outward things that keep them distracted from their inner issues.
As you might imagine, these individuals sometimes need to find a balance between that teen and the more healthy, responsible part within them, for there is nothing wrong with being responsible. If you are in a relationship or have children, I hope you are responsible! What you need for a happy, healthy, fulfilling life is a balance of both. Not allowing the overly worried Guardian to control you with old, irrational beliefs and behaviors, and not letting the fun-loving teenager run your life either. I want the healthy, joyous, intelligent you to be in charge. Knowing when it’s appropriate to free to let go and have fun. Knowing when it’s time to get busy and take care of business. You are all individuals and your life will be unique, but I think you get the picture.
Ignoring issues and inner fears is an avoidance that never works, where fueled by a teenage part that just wants to have fun or a Guardian part that doesn’t know or want to address emotional issues. You can see how hard it is to have men focus upon their issues. There has to be a healthy part of us that is mature enough yet open to expressing and releasing old emotional issues in order to heal and become the person you are meant to be.
No matter your age, your sex, your race, religion, or whatever, to live a healthy life your challenge is to find the balance between the responsible and the fun-loving part of you, between the analytical and the creative part of you, between the thinking and the emotional part of you, so that you can healthily take control of how you live your life.
So that you can put yourself in situations that might push the envelope of old fears by climbing up that tower and letting go on that zipline, which is probably as safe as driving your car. Yes, we are meant to take calculated risks, to move out of our comfort zone, to move your ship out of that harbor into the open seas.
Remember that your Guardian feels safest in your home. Here it can be in control of your environment, if it truly feels secure there. Your Guardians influence diminishes when you go outside where there’s more freedom, that sense of uncontrollable energy and unlimited possibilities. Being outside of your house can push you to remember those things you once used to do that brought you joy and excitement.
It gives you the opportunity to do those things once again. Maybe you like going for a walk or short drives. Or exploring on a kayak. Or whatever. What did you used to do that perhaps you can incorporate into your life once again? Maybe you want to try something that you always wanted to experience? Or do something entirely new for you. In any moment you can start once again to live that life you were meant to live, to be that expressive person, for you are not meant to spend the rest of your life sitting in the house watching TV. It happens far too often as we get older and beaten down by life and our Guardian. It finally wins as our fears intensify and safety and security become paramount. Of course, we want to be safe and secure, but in the proper balance. You can still live a growthful, active and vital life.
At any moment you can go outdoors and just enjoy feeling alive. Being in nature reconnects you with something beyond us, something within us. You don't have to go to a tropical setting to do this, as it can be done just as easily in your own backyard. As the old saying goes, “wherever you go, there you are.” Be where you are in an awake, self-aware state of mind. Listen to the sounds of nature, hear your own breath, feel the breeze on our cheeks.
Be vigilant so that your Guardian doesn’t take charge and hold you back. You will discover that life is even more amazing and your mental, emotional and physical health will probably improve. This is a great way to overcome depression, anxiety the fears of the Guardian.
Right now is the time to start making changes. Of course you can do it. Just begin to allow yourself to once again be the person you were meant to be. Fulfill your destiny and discover how amazing it is to live your life more in the now. Until now your Guardian part might have held you back. Until now it might have been far too much in control of your life, but now you move forward and take charge of your life and become the real, true authentic self you were born to be.